when i stretch or shrink something is it possible to keep the width of the stroke the same , i'm going back after stretching to change all the strokes to the same thickness in case i have to boolean them later

thanks

There‘s a toggle option with the Drawing tools in the upper right area you can check to maintain/loose stroke width with scaling.

thank you , is it the button marked with a dotted arrow and t right angle lines that says "when scaling objects, scale the stroke width by the same proportion', right now there is a box around it if i click it the box disappears

Not in front of Inkscape right now; hoovering will display tool-tips. That the icon disappears while clicking is odd and not normal. No idea if it´s a bug or falsey instalment.

sorry, not the icon disappearing but the darker box around it , looks like when its ticked there's a darker box around it and its that box that goes away